that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
there was a trapeze. enough said
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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