Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
