u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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