Operation Purity has been aborted
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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