Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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