i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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