He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
