In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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