If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
