Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
How does it feel to date your dad?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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