only if we run a train.
done.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
