How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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