God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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