where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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