watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
