You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Who died my cat blue again?
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