Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She told me I should be a condom model.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
