girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
