I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
