Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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