i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
now i know why i became what i already was.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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