Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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