my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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