so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
