You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
