How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
