I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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