I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
