So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
