She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Found the puke drawer
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
We smell like vodka and hangover
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize