Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I could fuck to npr.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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