Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Randomize
