I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
