He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Apparently you make a good broom.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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