I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
