Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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