is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
