Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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