it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
