Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
