ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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