You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
this will be a night to untag.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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