so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize