you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize