talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
