i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
