dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
