Your tits are I can't wait for
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
