I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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