Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
