Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
