me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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