porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
