totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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