dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
