Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
