it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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