1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
