help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
