Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize