It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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