man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
