He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
