please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
