SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
