NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
