I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
