i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
