last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
