I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
