its not stalking. its research.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
