I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
