dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
