If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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