I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
