My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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