ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
