We're like a lot better than the average bears
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It's just like the Real World with babies
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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